“Ultimately, this is why medicine is the only career path for me.”

“My experiences have all confirmed my belief that medicine is the best way to make use of my talents and skills.”

You know what all those hackneyed conclusion paragraph sentences sound like (and you hate yourself for them). Fluffy. Redundant. Grandiloquent. Dissociated and disconnected. The synthesis and momentum of your hard-won prose comes to a screeching halt…and your reader’s attention is lost.

So, how do you avoid this personal statement pitfall?

1) Keep the synthesis going. Make new connections between experiences and ideas. This doesn’t mean just using new words, it means generating novel thinking! Having finished the rest of your statement, what commonalities surfaced? What is left to say?

2) Continue the story. You might choose bookend your personal statement with 1 pivotal anecdote. If done artfully, this can be a great cohesion-building tool! (Just don’t opt for the maudlin default, and a conclusion sentence like this: “And now every time I see a patient I will remember good ol’ Joe…”)

3) Present your unique value proposition. Most applicants won’t ever get to this level of depth or take the time to reflect inward. What do you really value in your career as a physician, and how will that drive you? What forces have underscored each of your experiences to date?

4) Keep it crisp. Depending on the quality of the rest of your statement, you may not NEED a lengthy conclusion paragraph. So, consider ending a dynamite statement vs. dulling its impact with a lackluster conclusion.

We frequently prescribe the IEE litmus test to most of our clients: could any sentences in your conclusion paragraph be substituted in another applicant’s personal statement? If that answer is yes, you still have work to do. The majority of you will simply need to dig deeper; some may need to rein in earlier content to give your personal statement ‘somewhere to go’.

In the end, trust the extra investment WILL be worth it.The majority of personal statements we encounter – even the very best – don’t sustain the same level of prose from start to finish.

So, keep synthesizing, keep digging and keep your reader engaged!

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Hello all,

In working with a number of dental school, medical school and residency/fellowship applicants lately, we’ve seen a common trend. Many medical applicants will have had volunteer experience in an underserved area, or even a third-world country, and these experiences make for phenomenal personal statement content. The differences between healthcare around the world (and even in the  U.S.) can be stark, and this causes many prospective physicians to reflect on the big picture of medicine. Simultaneously, these events also push many applicants into a corner: What’s to be said or done about these glaring healthcare disparities? What is my personal commitment?

Some will attempt to explore the healthcare gap and problem-solve around it. Our advice: Don’t bite off more than you can chew. You have limited space (5300 characters, 4500 characters, 500 words, etc.) to speak to your capabilities as a prospective physician; you don’t want your essay doubling as a half-baked thesis on healthcare. Unless of course you’re interested in getting that M.P.H.!

The other big issue is that most applicants will pair these stories with some sort of ‘pie in the sky’ solution or future goal. “Serving the underserved” is a common phrase in medical applications, and like all common phrases, it has taken on dubious connotations. Some applicants might think mention of such purposeful, righteous work is a golden ticket into a top medical institution, but they may or may not have the experience to back it up. This is the opposite of a golden ticket – it’s a red flag.

Unless you’ve already tethered your commitment to “serving the underserved” to real action, then seriously consider mentioning it. A harrowing medical encounter in a third-world country plus the best of intentions does not guarantee action (a random sample of post-medical school paths would certainly confirm this). However, if this type of work does inspire you, your actions (and your CV) should reinforce that story.

Looking for free initial feedback on your AMCAS, AADSAS or ERAS application materials? Email us at admin@ivyeyesediting.com.

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com