Monthly Archives: March 2011

Making it Appealing: It’s All in the Details

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If you find yourself waitlisted or declined by the school of your dreams, you do still have an option: Appeal. If you choose to write a letter of appeal, however, remember that it must be strategically precise above and beyond all else. Although we know you’re really, truly a great candidate and a perfect match, the truth is that Mom and Dad aren’t always the best diplomats. This type of writing needs to focus on the strengths that reveal your ideal candidacy, and it needs to be written in the voice of the student, i.e. YOU.

To begin with, take the time to research the school to which you are appealing, at least to the point that you can directly address or cc the letter to a targeted regional contact. The more direct connections you can make with your future educational institution, the more you reveal your dedication to being a student there. If you show how much you care with tangible results of good research, the Admissions Committee will take note. Step 1: You have their attention.

From there on, you need to reveal your compatibility with an informed and enthusiastic conviction. A good deal of this is also dependent upon doing your research on the school in question. The more grounded your argument for acceptance can be, the likelier it is to ring true to the reader. Seek out the details and distinct elements of the school, and match them with your own unique interests and qualities. Don’t go on and on about how much you want to go to school there, just show them why a better match hasn’t been made since bread and butter.

Remember that good storytelling can increase your persuasiveness. Even when writing a letter, the quality of your prose counts, as does a strong narrative arc. (We’re experts on this, and happy to give your work a good once-over.) It’s important to construct your argument in a way that leads the reader in, entices them with irresistible logic, and then wallops them with the irrefutable conclusion that you’re the student of their dreams.

In short, writing a letter of appeal is your time to pull out the most strategic flair you can muster, with the greatest elegance you can sustain. You need to be simultaneously passionate and grounded, eager and convincing. Get specific, and maintain a strong picture of your past and an inspired vision for your future.

Remember, if the mountain won’t come to Mohammed, Mohammed darn well better go to that mountain. And he better be well prepared. Trust us: It’s all in the details.

Cheers,

Lily

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

When the World’s Falling Apart: Do Something About It

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If you’re in the college or grad school application process, chances are that no matter how stressed you’ve been you’re also aware of the numerous issues of dire import up for question in the world right now: global warming, nuclear power, renewable energy sources, governmental infrastructure, international policy, a teetering economy, and world war—just to name a few.

It’s kind of an important juncture in the history of the human race. Sure, history repeats itself, but wouldn’t it be nice if this time it didn’t? Wouldn’t it be fantastic if, just for once, that old adage ceased to apply? And how excellent would it be if you used your education in the effort to make that change real?

We think you can and should. More and more undergraduate and graduate programs are opening their eyes to the necessity of offering an education that takes into account today’s precarious political and environmental situations. They, and the world at large, need students who are able to translate a solid traditional education in History or Economics in application to the challenges we face today.

Say you’re interested in Business. Check out this article from U.S. News and World Report, posted yesterday: http://www.usnews.com/education/best-graduate-schools/top-business-schools/articles/2011/03/28/the-environmentally-friendly-mba

Now before you turn your pretty head away from the idea of signing your life off to work for the EPA, check this: “private employers, including leading consultancies like Booz Allen Hamilton and large companies like Westinghouse and PepsiCo, are also recruiting.”

One of my favorite businesswomen (and fellow Yalie), Liba Rubenstein, took her degree in American Studies all the way to her current directorship of News Corp.’s Global Energy Initiative (http://gei.newscorp.com/). Hey, it’s not easy changing Rupert Murdoch’s mind, but someone’s got to do it. And this year, Liba led the Initiative in reaching News Corp.’s first milestone, carbon neutrality across all global operations.

As you standby, ready to make the choice that will determine your educational future, remember that the world is changing faster than most of us can keep up with it. Which is exactly why we need to look to new paradigms in education and employment for creative solutions to real problems.

So go ahead, try something new. Do something about it.

Best,

Lily

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Round 3 & 4 MBA Applicants: Read Between the Essay Lines

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If you’re a Round 3 or Round 4 MBA applicant, chances are you’re aware that the odds get tougher the longer you wait. This means that the essays you submit are going to be increasingly critical, and must be more than a ‘breath of fresh air’ (think an ‘electric jolt into full consciousness’) to garner the attention you want.

Let’s look at Harvard Business School’s essay questions and see what can be read between the lines.

What are your three most substantial accomplishments and why do you view them as such? (600-word limit)

This question is your opportunity to show what really matters to you. Rather than looking at it as a way to regurgitate the highlights of your resume, take it as a query into the deeper matters of your life. The kind of accomplishments you choose to discuss here will reveal your values as both a person and businessperson. So, choose wisely—and remember that it is important to an educational institution to pull together a diversity of students.

Your answers should pull together unexplored facets of your personal and professional history, and subtly reflect the values, intentions and beliefs that have underscored your decisions (ahem, ‘THE WHY’). That you helped build an elementary school in Rwanda is not nearly as important as the forces that drove that action. Many of our clients find it helpful to FIRST outline their values and passions, and ‘work backwards’ with this question.
What have you learned from a mistake? (400-word limit)

This is one of the most difficult essay questions to nail without being trite. In order to avoid the stereotypical “I made a mistake at work by being too headstrong and now I know how to be a team player” avenue, we recommend taking the time to examine the relevant changes in your life now. Spend a bit more time on the “learning” part than the “mistake” dimension.

We see a lot of essays rant about the mistake made, and do little to reveal how that lesson has affected serious change in the person’s life today. The best answers will show a thoughtful application of a ‘learning’ which continues to resonate in the applicant’s personal/professional life.

Please respond to two of the following (400-word limit each):

• What would you like the MBA Admissions Board to know about your undergraduate academic experience?

An unsavory academic record? A major in Music Theory? A year off? Use this space to explain yourself, and clearly. If you were a Business major through and through, describe how your undergrad experience prepared you to become the businesswo/man you are today.

If you feel the need to justify a weakness in your application, remember not to boil the ocean. This short essay question should not be your personal treatise on ‘why you got a C in macroeconomics but how you have since turned your life around.’ Embrace and contextualize the weakness, point to growth, and move on.

• What is your career vision and why is this choice meaningful to you?

Take this question seriously and avoid abstraction. Be as specific as possible, delineating the particular sector, business, and position you hope to work within, and strategically map out your path.

This isn’t the place for uncertainty. Choose a career model (or several) and derive your path from there. This is your chance not only to show your goals and your passion, but on a certain level, communicate your knowledge of the real business world and the executable paths that exist. Aspiring consultants-turned-CEO’s, beware the bushy-tailed, quixotic career vision!

• Tell us about a time in your professional experience when you were frustrated or disappointed.

This question is as much about selecting the appropriate frustration and disappointment as it is about revealing your ability to move on. Once again, think carefully, steer clear of generalization and cliché, and consider what the subtext of your essay is saying about you.

Is the frustration or disappointment relatable–does it indicate a development need that is trainable or coachable? (You should answer yes.) How did you react to the professional experience, and how has that reaction in turn shaped your behaviors today?

• When you join the HBS Class of 2013, how will you introduce yourself to your new classmates?

We see essays attempting to address this question in a variety of clever ways. Rather than trying to be clever, however, we recommend that you be genuine. No one likes the person at the party who tells bad jokes hoping to break the ice. Be yourself. Don’t be over- or under-enthusiastic. Don’t oversell. Focus on what is important to you as a human being, not solely as a business school applicant.

Check out this forum thread for some thoughtful advice:

http://www.ivyeyesediting.com/ivyforum/5-mba-admissions-writing/24-hbs-essay-questions

Need more help? We’re here! Get a free critique here: http://ivyeyesediting.com/free-resources/free-assessment or submit your essay for editing here: http://ivyeyesediting.com/services.

Best,

Lily

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Life: Grist for the Diversity Mill

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We live in a world where skin color is hardly the indicator of “diversity” that it used to be. Affirmative Action, among other movements, changed all that decades ago, and even the concept of diversity has radically changed over the past decade.  So what does it mean to offer diversity to a university community campus?

We believe it’s all about your unique story and the way you choose to tell it. Whether you grew up on Central Park West or in the streets of Nairobi, there is a distinct set of qualities that distinguishes you from any other candidate. The key is to discern these elements from the generic resume regurgitation that often happens in admissions writing.

The number of humanitarian accomplishments and awards you’ve landed won’t necessarily make you a prime candidate. An admissions committee wants to know what is irrepressibly you, what no one else will be able to offer to the community. In order to narrow this down, it can help to take an honest look at the elements of your life to date, as boring or scintillating as you’ve written them off to be.

An activity as seemingly benign as participating on the swim team at your college or high school might have taught you in valuable lessons in community building and collaboration. Your geeky penchant for collecting butterfly wings might have offered you the strength and perseverance needed to succeed as a researcher in the future. Your crazy family might be the foundation from which you’ve learned to develop real tolerance and compassion.

The point is: every element of your life is grist for the mill. Don’t dismiss anything as boring material. What matters is the way you begin to relate to this material and how this gets communicated to an admissions committee. We say this often, but perspective really is the key.

Try this exercise—write down what you consider to be the least interesting aspects of your self or your life. Now force yourself to see past the block of judgment you have towards those things and ask yourself to honestly alchemize some gold from the dross. We gave you some examples two paragraph above, so take your cues from there.

Have fun discovering your own diversity. The tried and true markers of 1980s-90s diversity are now tired and boring. Give the admissions committee something new to chew on. The world today is inherently more diverse than ever before. Simply open your eyes to it and show us how you fit into the mosaic.

Best,

Lily

Ivy Eyes Edtiing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Tell Me Something Good: Storytelling in Admissions Writing & Interviewing

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Remember how wonderful it was to have story-time when you were young, or to be read to at night before going to sleep? How thrilling a ghost story around the campfire could be? Or how engaging it is to listen to a friend’s new story of romance or heartbreak? Roger Dooley’s fantastic Neuromarketing blog (http://www.neurosciencemarketing.com/blog/articles/stories-synchronize-brains.htm) gives us the dish on some pertinent new info on the speaker/listener mind-meld that occurs via good storytelling.

New brain scans now show us that when we are hooked into the story another person is telling, our brains actually begin to synchronize. As a listener, your brain patterns start to mirror that of the story’s teller. Crazy, huh? This means if you really want to get your way, you might need to tell an especially good story before you start coercing your listener.

This is a particularly interesting piece of news for anyone who’s prepping for admissions interviews or looking to write an especially compelling personal statement. It implies that if you can tell a story well and engage your listener effectively, you’re much more likely not only to be heard, but also to be well received.

Dooley writes, “In this condition, one is far more likely to be successful, whether the objective is to inform or convince.” Imagine that! If you can tell a story in a way that hooks your listener/admissions committee reviewer, you have a much higher chance of showing them why you’re the candidate for them.

However, the essential caveat is this: “The brain scans show that such neural coupling doesn’t always occur – it only happened when the listener was paying attention and understood the story.” Dooley explains that it’s up to the speaker to tell the story in a way that holds the listener’s attention and compels them to follow the essential points of the storyline. Doing this involves following the most tried and true storytelling practice of all: Show, don’t tell.

When you begin to lay yourself out for all to see, whether on paper or in person, try to focus on the explicit details connecting the dots that illustrate a gripping tale. Be as specific as you possibly can—you know how much we all want the juicy details. In the case of admissions writing or interviewing, however, remember that concision is also key; don’t ever waste the time of your listener or reader. The more exciting crumbs of relevant detail that you lay out on the trail, the more easily your listener will follow along with you to the story’s conclusion.

Have fun crafting your own personal mythologies!

Cheers,

Lily

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

From Intro to Conclusion: Let’s All Do the Narrative Arc

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Although it might seem overwhelming to emphasize the more artistic elements of writing an application statement, the art and craft of narrative is vital to an essay’s success.

To break this down in the most painless way possible, let’s simply consider the narrative arc as we learned it in high school English: Exposition à Complication à Climax à Resolution. While you’re obviously not going to apply this exact formula to an admissions essay, you do need to consider the elements of writing that make something readable, dynamic, and satisfying. After all, the essay is your clutch moment to reveal who you really are.

As you begin your statement, consider the scene you are setting, and how you are depicting yourself (your character) within this environment. Remember that a good story always reveals some character growth. Even as you begin the Exposition, think about the Resolution to come—you know this story of your life quite well, so you have an advantage in determining how to craft your tale. Be savvy and you will win over your reader from the beginning.

The Complication of your statement might be the story of your past academic work or the influential events/people that have lead to this point in your life. This section should provide the salient details needed for the reader to immerse him or herself in your world and set you up for the Climax of the essay.

The Climax is the crucial section of your statement where your current goals and educational interests would be highlighted. These elements should further the tension established in the previous two narrative sections. You might outline your unique vision for your professional or personal life, or expose the reader to some other essential facets of yourself.

The essay’s Resolution should offer a bridge that leads the reader through a clear integration of all the essay’s previous points and delivers them to a strong conclusion. This might include mention of the particularities of the school to which you are applying and its faculty. It might also illuminate some greater awareness about the journey the reader has taken with you through the statement.

An excellent essay will flow seamlessly from beginning to end. And, as T.S. Eliot wrote in Four Quartets, “We shall not cease from exploration/ And the end of all our exploring/ Will be to arrive where we started/ And know the place for the first time.” A good beginning will contain the seeds of an excellent conclusion, and the conclusion will newly inform the introduction. As in life, so in writing.

Cheers,

Lily

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

College Admissions Essays: Bring the Meaning, not the Melodrama

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http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/04/books/04book.html?ref=books

This Sunday’s New York Times reviewed Andrew Ferguson’s memoir Crazy U: One Dad’s Crash Course in Getting His Kid Into College. Among the many perils and misadventures of the world of college admissions, Ferguson documents his thoughts on admissions essays. And he does so with quite a bit of parental angst. The Times’ reviewer Dwight Garner writes:

He is bitterly funny about the (sometimes very) personal essays students are forced to include with their college applications. These essays are “a relatively new idea, and very baby boomerish,” he says. He asks: “Who are they to force a catharsis on 17-year-olds?”

Students who dislike talking about themselves, whose every sentence is not “a little stink bomb of braggadocio,” are at a disadvantage. “Once the larger culture considered reticence a virtue,” he writes. “Now it’s cause for suspicion or evidence of derangement.”

Of course, Ivy Eyes has a take on all this, and it’s pretty simple: self-reflection doesn’t have to be painful for the writer or the reader, and can be delivered without an ounce of “braggadocio,” whatever that heck that is. And c’mon, we all know you don’t have to be a baby boomer to have some insight. We’re sure Ferguson’s book is pretty interesting, but let’s get real about his claims regarding what makes a good personal statement.

Because we actually think it’s kind of nice that colleges and universities want to get to know who you are aside from your SAT scores and your GPA. Don’t you? We don’t think you need to be annoyingly loquacious (#fabvocabword!) to score points with the admissions committee. There is a way to write about personal experience that is candid, vibrant, and authentic.

Bottom line, it’s all about honesty. Life is pretty crazy. Chances are, there is something about your personal history that is dynamic enough to write an essay about. Because even the simplest subjects, like your favorite childhood fruit tree, can prove to be pithy material for a college admissions essay. And I am, dear pre-frosh, speaking from my own personal essay-writing experience.

When I wrote my Early Action essay for Yale over ten years ago, I only cared about one thing—writing something that was meaningful to me. Begin there, and it’ll be hard to go wrong. You don’t have to have a catharsis (although if you do, that could be cool). Just dig deep, and see what you come up with. We think it’ll be pretty awesome.

And we’re always here if you need some support.

Best,

Lily

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Casting Words to the Wind: Just Say What You Mean!

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There are a number of words and phrases that recur in admissions essays, personal statements, and statements of purpose at a nauseatingly frequent rate. If it were up to us, we’d never want to see them again, and neither should you. Why? Because they do nothing but clutter your otherwise fantastic essays with meaningless, glib, or annoyingly pompous syllables. Here’s an Ivy Eyes Guide to taking the red pen to your own work and coming out with a stronger, sexier, leaner essay than you ever imagined. It’s time to kill some darlings, as writers describe the hard job of editing their own work.

Here are the Ivy Eyes top 3 buzz terms to avoid. Keep in mind that it’s not always the word itself that is the problem, but, like so many things, it’s the way that you use it that makes the difference.

1) Leadership

If you’re applying to a business school or management program, chances are you’re trying to find a way to mention “leadership skills”: either the ones you want or the ones you have. The truth is, it’s a given that any MBA applicant both wants and needs these skills. The more subtle point to explore is what exactly makes a good leader? There are fantastic books being written on such topics (ever read Seth Godin’s Tribe?), and it would behoove you to immerse yourself in these topics in order to take a truly compelling stance on leadership in the business world. What does it mean to you to be a leader and why? How do these crucial elements of leadership inform future economies of professional and personal success?

2) Clearly

Oddly, this seemingly innocuous word shows up all over the place, typically when the writer is trying to over-emphasize a point (especially one that wasn’t all so clear in the first place). Even though we know you mean the best, dropping a “clearly” at the beginning of a paragraph looks a little too much like an annoyingly upturned nose for our taste. Just saw what you mean, and then ask yourself if it’s clear or not. And, for goodness sake, don’t tell anyone how “clearly” excellent an applicant you are.

3) Diversity

Diversity is one of those über buzzwords that have come to mean very little in the modern day vernacular. Don’t yammer on about what a “diverse” campus you’re hoping to join without giving us some seriously concrete details about what this might look like. And ditto on your personal contribution to campus “diversity”. Diversity isn’t so much about the color of your skin anymore —race is so 2001— but more about the uniquely distinct elements of your personal history, the hurdles you’ve overcome, and the amazing qualities that are yours alone.

Here are a few hints: Give us details, and give us lots. Get real. And write about it like you mean it. No one wants to be generic.

Best,

Lily

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Editor vs. Thought Partner: The Difference We Make

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In a recent New York Times article on the poet Elizabeth Bishop’s longstanding publishing relationship with The New Yorker magazine (“Elizabeth Bishop, Fighting The New Yorker Over Extra Commas and Steaming Cowflops,” 2/9/11), we are privy to some interesting new tidbits about the writer’s relationship to her editors. She even wrote a poem about it, an acerbic jab at Harold Moss, her primary editor at the magazine:

All our poems

rest on the shelf

while Howard publishes

himself.

Bishop always carried this writerly angst with her, perpetually frustrated at Moss’ inability to publish the work she found most personal, honest, and real. When you go to work on editing a piece of writing, a personal statement, admissions, essay, or even a resume or biography, we understand that it’s not always the brutal editor you want by your side. While there is a time and place for this, there is a deeper level of editorial work that we at Ivy Eyes just love. We know that sometimes it can be invaluable to have someone challenge your perspective, help you explore your ideas, and get you to dig a bit deeper.

At Ivy Eyes Editing, we like to think of our editors as Thought Partners. We’d rather rile you up by asking you the hard questions no one else dares to than simply dot your i’s and cross your t’s. We know a lot of people who are good at doing that, and so do you. But what’s less common is the kind of partnership in personal work that helps you get to the heart of the matter, regardless of what you’re writing about. We’d like to be the kind of editors Elizabeth Bishop wished she had, unafraid of all the “steaming cowflops” she wanted to write about.

As Thought Partners, we recognize the sensitive nature of the writing process, and how difficult it can be to make your work vulnerable to the sometimes-insensitive editorial hand. Yet we also know that a little tough love is often just what the doctor ordered: we’ll never let you get away with answering something halfway just because it’s a difficult subject.

Instead, Ivy Eyes editors come equipped with the crafty tools to weather even the most treacherous climes of personal and professional inquiry. We really want you to get to know yourself better through the editing process. Whether this means spending some extra time on grammar, discerning your greatest strengths and weaknesses, or determining how best to talk about the family crisis that temporarily derailed your education, we are willing and ready to be there.

Best,

Lily

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Beware Overshare: Tough Times

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We know, we know, all everyone ever does is encourage you to be authentic, original, and uniquely yourself. But is there a magic borderline in the land of Admissions Essays between inspiringly quirky and scarily unattractive? To put it bluntly, yes.

So, what is that line between authenticity and overshare? When does divulging issues about your mental health or your family’s financial circumstances to an Admissions Committee member become a hazard to your candidacy? It’s pretty simple: The AdCom is looking for people who are ready to handle the rigors of academic and collegiate life. This applies to applicants at every level of admission, at any age.

When you sit down to explain the intricacies of your parents’ messy divorce and the yearlong depression it plummeted you into, take a moment to consider the effect you’ll be having on your reader. Is the trajectory of your rise to health and success crystal clear amidst the rubble of your previous downfall? Take the time to get to know your story well enough that you can see through the mess and into the clarity that lies beyond. What is the picture you are painting of yourself and your life?

If something has happened or is currently happening in your life that is overwhelming your ability to be a productive, energized member of a community, it might not be appropriate to share the details. For example, if you’ve recently taken time off to recover from a psychological disorder, it could actually be detrimental to your application to spend too much time on the before part of the story rather than the after. That is, you should be writing from a clear place of psychological wellness in order to make this a viable topic for an admissions essay.

Of course, everyone understands that life can be challenging, but it’s important to demonstrate your ability to handle these difficulties with the self-awareness and strength to transcend their bounds. The key word here is self-awareness­: the ability to express the predicament you’re in with a healthy dose of insight and perspective. It’s always valuable to speak from personal experience, and even more so when you can demonstrate an understanding of personal transformation through hardship. This awareness will offer a clear example of the kind of community member you might be at your future institution of choice.

Most importantly, if you can carefully craft an essay of this nature, you will demonstrate the kind of innate resourcefulness the Admissions Committee seeks in candidates for any type of program, from undergrad liberal arts to doctoral scientific research.

Best,

Lily

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com