Personal Statement Tip: Not Your Sermon on the Mount

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Medical school and residency personal statements demand that you synthesize and reflect upon your experience. They demand that you share your perspective. However, this can be taken to the pedantic extreme.

Some applicants will inevitably find themselves discussing the plight of healthcare in this country, inadequacies in certain medical fields or approaches, or more broadly the emotional/psychological/spiritual responsibilities of being a physician. While you may touch on these topics in your personal statements, you must exercise caution. Remember that your materials will be read by physicians who are more familiar with the realities of these topics, and some may have different perspectives to share! The last thing you want to do is alienate your reader (and the gatekeeper to your admissions goals).

Admissions writing must be human, confessional, and aspirational. However, it’s equally important to objectively represent your experience and your strengths! The best statements effortlessly weave together these two dimensions, providing the admissions committee or board with an accurate, nuanced portrait of a candidate.

Looking for free feedback on your AMCAS, TMDSAS, AADSAS or ERAS personal statement? Email us at admin@ivyeyesediting.com for details!

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Finding Balance in Your Medical School Personal Statement

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Our clients frequently come to us with concerns about balance in their personal statements. Does my medical school/AMCAS statement feel too research-y? Does my residency/ERAS personal statement seem too impersonal? Does this dress make me look fat?

It’s as if some medical applicants are hoping for a percentage breakdown or recipe for the perfectly calibrated personal statement, which of course does not exist. We work with each of our clients to help them craft personal statements, short answers and activity descriptions that reinforce their strengths but also tell a deeper, more humanizing story.

Some applicants’ stories take on a more research-oriented angle, and this is perfectly acceptable! Today’s medical schools are looking for different types of students to fill their programs, not just those with perfect MCAT scores and published research. Some candidates’ applications require greater personal contextualization, and the personal statement is a great vehicle for this. Other candidates have “done all the right things” and must try to infuse their writing with a certain amount of authenticity and even surprise.

Ultimately, finding the right balance in your application materials requires a holistic look at your application. Moreover, the balance of your overall application should be considered before the balance within your personal statement. Taking a closer look at your materials, where are the gaps? What does your resume say about your candidacy, and what does it not say?

The most successful applicants will embrace this holistic approach, and think about the best ways to round out their applications and get them ready to market.

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

AMCAS Personal Statement Tip: Probing the Past

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If we had a nickel for every time we read the following phrases:

“Starting in high school, I gravitated toward the sciences…”

“I’ve always known I wanted to be a doctor…”

“Since playing [insert children's game] I always knew I was destined to be a surgeon.”

“Even as an elementary school student, I just wanted to help people…”

These token phrases may sound dubious to some of you, but take a look at your own personal statements for traces of similar sentiment. They just may be lurking there, having involuntarily seeped into your prose. And while the sentiment may be completely genuine, it won’t do you any favors in the medical school admissions process.

As you begin to craft your AMCAS personal statements and secondary essays, it’s important to draw a more focused timeline. Unless there was a truly pivotal childhood experience you must share in your essay, we generally recommend that applicants do not explore their pre-college history (and definitely not their Pre-K history).

Why? It’s irrelevant, it’s out of date, and it’s homogenizing (who didn’t love 9th grade bio?) Most importantly, it won’t show your readiness for medical school or prove your long-term commitment to a career in medicine.

Looking for feedback on your AMCAS/TMDSAS or AADSAS personal statements? Email us at admin@ivyeyesediting.com or visit www.ivyeyesediting.com for more information.

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

How To Rivet an Audience: Fifty-Shades-Of-Grey Style

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Last weekend, at a gathering of 20 or so female, ivy league-educated 30-somethings, I was the odd man out – but not just because of my gender. I was the only person not reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

At any given moment, you might scan the periphery of the outdoor/communal area and see several people deeply engrossed in the novel. (Who has time for talking with old friends, anyway?) It got me thinking, and I wanted to know more: what was so riveting about this book, beyond the obvious? Fifty Shades readers rushed to defend their guiltiest pleasure:

“The guy emails back within 5 minutes and tells her she needs to eat more…it’s every woman’s fantasy.”

“The writing’s terrible, but the erotica is couched in a good story with believable character development.”

“It taps into common instincts/desires many women share, and gives us a way to explore that without the social stigma.”

While I don’t expect to be picking up a copy of Fifty Shades any time soon, I do find it valuable to engage with my peers on why the book compels them. It has had incredible mass appeal – reinforced by a hilarious feature on SNL this past weekend – and that’s because the author deeply understood her audience. Taking a closer look, what do we have to learn from E.L. James’ Fifty Shades goldmine?

-Rethink the genre. James thought carefully and strategically about what traditional elements of her genre were already in place.. How could those elements be tweaked, refined or elevated for a broader 21st century audience? How could the market be disrupted?

-Develop a convincing story skeleton/plot structure. Story matters, regardless of genre, and is the engine through which dramatic tension courses. So, the framework for the story must be believable in order for the tensions to surface (and for audiences to stay captivated). Frequently writers excel at this piece or characterization, but rarely both.

-Even heroes and heroines are flawed, and even heroes and heroines fail. The boldest, most convicted characters must still feel human, and face their own internal hang-ups and moments of indecision. How textured, balanced and real are the participants in your story?

-Know your audience. How well do you know your reader–what are their preconceptions and desires? What do they want and what do they expect?

Now, don’t go getting any ideas…erotica isn’t the best inspiration for your admissions materials. However, these are all great tools to consider when writing for an admissions audience, and an audience that has grown weary of reading ‘more of the same.’

So, when you sit down to pen your personal statement this year, make sure you consider your reader. Your submission – er, admission – depends on it.

Cheers,

Janson

Managing Editor

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

EMBA Applicants: Goals and Fit Matter Most

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Hello everyone,

Executive MBA applicants come from a broad range of backgrounds, and their age averages 10+ years older than full-time MBA applicants. Just take a look at UCLA Anderson’s Class of 2013 profile:

Size of Entering Class 73
Women 26%
International Students 8%
Average Age 37
Age Range 29-51
Average Years Work Experience 13
Average GMAT 662
Percentage of advanced degree holders 32%

This profile includes individuals from IT to military to education industries. However, taking a look at these stats, one might wonder: why would a seasoned, 37-year-old professional want to obtain their EMBA?

Some might seek their EMBA in an effort to gain new management, strategic thinking or communication skills; others might want a program that allows them to apply that knowledge without interrupting their careers. Whatever the reason is behind wanting to obtain your EMBA, one thing is certain: EMBA applicants must have a crystal-clear sense of purpose.

The applicant who has made significant career progress will be hard-pressed to answer why he truly NEEDS an MBA, but this is an application must. The most important thing EMBA applicants can do is present very defined, calculated career goals, and show how X EMBA program will enable them to accomplish those goals. What’s keeping you from that next career step? What courses at UCLA Anderson would help you build on existing skills in order to get you there?

So, if you’re applying for EMBA programs this year, remember it will be critical to do this application pre-work. EMBA applicants are expected to have a stronger vision than their full-time MBA counterparts – their careers are already in full swing – and the strongest EMBA applications will reflect this sense of purpose.

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Sorry Mom, You’re Not Welcome Here

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Hi everyone,

Parents are a crucial part of life as we know it. Our parents are our role models, our mentors and our guides. As we prepare to make decisions that will impact the course of our lives – including the careers we choose for ourselves – our life experiences and a solid amount of conditioning from Mom and Dad will naturally come into play.

However, when it comes time to make the decision on whether to major in biology or studio art, or even attend law school or medical school, the choice must be your own. While your parents’ perspective can inform a crucial life decision, your instincts are ultimately most important. Why?

Because you’ll be the person in charge of your life path, and you’ll be the person meeting the demands of the medical school and residency/fellowship programs. If your career choices aren’t aligned with your genuine instincts and intentions, you can expect a ‘come-to-Jesus’ moment in your future. Few people can sustain a half-hearted commitment to a lifelong career, particularly one as demanding as a career in medicine.

Fortunately, admissions writing brings many of these issues to the surface. We work with many clients who faced major career and academic roadblocks that were complicated by their parents’ influence (“why can’t you just join the family business” or “we won’t pay for medical school”). That doesn’t mean Mom is to blame. Applicants who emphasize their parents as part of their decision-making process are applicants who still largely rely on their parents’ advice. This raises a giant admissions red flag. After all, Mom can’t be called into the neonatal surgical unit.

When it comes time to write your personal statement for medical school, you must resolve this conflict and be certain of it. You can embrace nontraditional elements of your application and all the bends in the road, but Mom and Dad can’t be blamed for lost time or past mistakes.

Your future was and is always your own–so now it’s time to embrace it!

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

AMCAS Personal Statement Tip: How to Discuss Research

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Hello everyone,

If you’re applying to medical school this year, you’ve almost certainly amassed some undergraduate research experience. For some of you, research has been an integral part of your education as a doctor and something that you may wish to continue throughout your career; for others, your time spent closely monitoring Drosophila melanogaster may have confirmed you never want to step foot in a lab again. Regardless of which of these two camps you may fall into, there are some important considerations to be made when mentioning research in your personal statement:

-Consider your application holistically. Where are the big gaps and weaknesses in your application? It may make sense for some of you more than others to really magnify your research work. How did you take on new roles and/or projects in the lab setting? How did you exercise skills not typically expected of a young researcher, like creativity, leadership and project management?

-Think about what is unique about your research experience. NB: this is not ‘manning the centrifuge’ and ‘mastering gel electrophoresis.’ What new or advanced skills did you acquire? What roadblocks did you encounter? If your research work was dull and dry, it will read as dull and dry to your reader. There’s no clause saying you must mention research in your essay, so ask yourself if you need to at all.

-Avoid phrases that inadvertently malign the research path. “Although research was fascinating, I wanted to make a more direct impact on people.” Some researchers working toward development of drugs that take millions of lives each year might beg to differ with your distinction between researcher and physician :)

We find that the majority of medical school applicants choose to highlight research in their personal statements; however, 99% of that content is the same from application to application. The reality is you probably have more to say about your research experience than you think! And if you don’t, you might consider using that space to expand on more distinctive elements of your application.

Looking for feedback on your AMCAS/TMDSAS personal statements? Visit us at www.ivyeyesediting.com or email us at admin@ivyeyesediting.com for a free critique of your application materials.

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Your AMCAS Personal Statement: Not Your Favorite Physician’s

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Hi everyone,

One of the common issues we find in AMCAS personal statements is a tendency to shift focus toward a physician who was shadowed vs focusing on the applicant experience/perspective. While this is certainly not the most egregious of admissions writing errors, it can greatly diminish the marketing opportunity that is the personal statement.

The point is, this is your personal statement, not the abridged biography of your favorite physician. You want your essay to not only convey some of your passive learning experiences and inward reflections (Dr. X’s bedside manner taught me ___) , but also the firsthand, active learning experience you’ve had in the medical field. This active learning might include a rather perfunctory interaction – like bringing in fresh towels to a patient – but even that can be more powerful than a starry-eyed, verbose account of Dr. X’s grace under fire. Additionally, in describing a fantastic doctor, it’s easy to fall into the trap of identifying “what really makes a great doctor.” The fact is you’re not a physician yet, and the physicians reading your personal statement might find this kind of rhetoric off-putting and presumptuous (what a sensitive bunch).

We love great storytelling, and advise all of our clients to tell dig deep to tell stronger stories in their essays. However, don’t get too bogged down by the storytelling that you forget WHY you’re telling the story: to provide more insight into your candidacy and gain admission into medical school.

Looking for feedback on your AMCAS personal statement and/or work/activity descriptions? Visit us at www.ivyeyesediting.com or email admin@ivyeyesediting.com.

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

The 2013 AMCAS Application opens May 1, 2012!

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Hello everyone,

Just a reminder that the 2013 AMCAS application opens on May 1st. The website is already beginning to run slower than usual, so be prepared. Additionally, certain sections of the application, such as Course Work, may perform more slowly than others due to a higher level of database interaction. AMCAS administrators also advise that you log onto the system between 7 and 10amEST.

For those of you seeking feedback on your AMCAS application materials, please continue to email us at admin@ivyeyesediting.com!

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com

Jiro Dreams of Sushi: The Making of a Great Shokunin/Leader

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“The Japanese word shokunin is defined by both Japanese and Japanese-English dictionaries as ‘craftsman’ or ‘artisan,’ but such a literal description does not fully express the deeper meaning.  The Japanese apprentice is taught that shokunin means not only having technical skills, but also implies an attitude and social consciousness. … The shokunin has a social obligation to work his/her best for the general welfare of the people.  This obligation is both spiritual and material, in that no matter what it is, the shokunin’s responsibility is to fulfill the requirement.” – Tasio Odate

In “Jiro Dreams of Sushi,” director David Gelb documents 85-year-old Jiro Ono, the chef-owner of Sukiyabashi Jiro, a subterranean, 10-seat Tokyo restaurant which earned three Michelin stars in 2008. In the grand tradition of all Japanese shokunin, Jiro continues his relentless quest for sushi perfection every day. This is a practice that brings him peace. “When the fish is good,” Jiro notes, “I am ecstatic.” Fingers moving deftly between knife, rice, fish and brush, you see the elegance, joy and the art in Jiro’s movement. He is a conductor in his own right.

Jiro is also a leader in the most traditional sense. Japanese food critic Yamamoto lists “the five attributes of a great chef,” all of which, he asserts, Jiro possesses in spades:

1. Take your work seriously.
2. Aspire to improve.
3. Maintain cleanliness.
4. Be a better leader than a collaborator.
5. Be passionate about your work.

It is fascinating to see Jiro’s life unfold and also how his self-discipline and focus have been passed down to his sons. In one scene certain to generate guffaws from American audiences, Jiro remarks about how being independent by age 9 cemented his work ethic and success: “Today parents tell their children, “you always have your home to come back to.” This sets them up to be failures.” Despite the inevitable evolutions in 21st century life (not to mention rapidly declining fish stocks), Jiro has been able to sustain his outlook and life approach.

The film was as much an homage to a life philosophy as it was a tribute to a man; in fact, Jiro is a philosophy unto himself. “Once you commit to a career, you must commit yourself fully–and work toward improving your skills for the rest of your life.” While the inflexibility of this ethos may not work for us all, the movie made one thing very clear: there’s always room to improve at anything, and joy can always be found in that process.

Cheers,

Ivy Eyes Editing

www.ivyeyesediting.com